Scorecarding, Bad Math and Pie

Here’s one the 242 reasons why I love Bronwyn Saglimbeni: she allows me to share our In The Moment coaching exchanges. A recent exchange started with this comment from Bronwyn, “I was scorecarding all week. No wonder I felt like shit.”

Measuring progress against a metric or performance of a colleague or peer can be ONE helpful input. The problem is when our ego takes over and turns it into the ONLY input. This cranks up our Insane Thought Generator, and the result is a non-stop negative story loop that blocks access to our strengths and creativity.

Plus, as my good friend Steve Wolt has reminded me on more than one occasion, “Ben, your scorecard does bad math.”

Bronwyn went on to ask, “Why is it so hard to see when the ego is driving? It’s so clear in retrospect.”

Here’s why: our ego has had a lifetime of employment. It shows up and punches in for work every…single…day. Some days we’re able to park it safely in the break room, and other days it’s an unauthorized visitor roaming the office and creating havoc. That’s why you’ve probably heard the old adage, “Your ego is not your amigo.”

We’ll never completely eliminate our ego, but we can minimize its disruption with these three practices:

1. Practice telling yourself you’ve already won

My longtime therapist, coach, and GSD (Get Serenity Done) guide Joni Lavick recently challenged me to do just that. After initially waving off the challenge, I realized two things. One, I already have a big slice of pie and two, I’ve had a LOT of pie in my life.

2. Make the pie bigger

Stephen Covey once remarked, “When we’re genuinely happy for someone else’s success, the pie gets bigger.” My job – and I’m challenging you to join me – is to make the pie bigger for others. The easiest way to do that is to recognize someone every day for a job well done, especially on those days when you feel like everyone but you is crushing it.

3. Create in the spirit of service

Each of us is creating something today – a presentation for a big meeting, a text we’re sending a friend, or that home project we’ve been putting off. As you create, let the words of author Julia Cameron inspire your work:

“When we make art in a spirit of service, it lightens the burden of our ego.”

Every day I have the opportunity to see the actions many of you take (and are taking) as you create and contribute to the world. My brothers and sisters, you have already won! Put down the scorecard, enjoy some pie – and help others enjoy their pie, too.