Saturation, Healing, and Taking Your Space
Earlier this month I had an In The Moment coaching exchange with a client who was concerned about backing out from a previous commitment. She ended her message with a question, “Am I a terrible person?”
The answer for her—and for you if you’re experiencing something similar—is no!
As we come into the home stretch of the 'one star' year* that is 2020, we are all saturated. When something unplanned or unexpected emerges, we have to adjust because we just can’t add one more thing. When the unexpected pops up, the most important thing we can do is to create space. And sometimes that means saying “no” to a previous commitment.
I recently experienced something unexpected, and I find myself on a healing journey doing work I hadn't planned on doing this year. I know I am not alone; many of my friends, colleagues, and clients are on journeys they hadn't anticipated when the year began. Like them, I find myself now saying “no” to previous commitments as I create space for that work. I’ve also been reminding myself of three things I share with clients who embark on transformative journeys:
We are all doing a lot of hard work right now, and that takes a lot of energy. Self-care and self-compassion is essential. Minimizing social media, minimizing news, and maximizing your interactions with positive people are three ways to do both.
Transformative journeys are rarely ‘up and to the right’. There are moments when we just won’t feel it. That’s when I turn to one of my favorite mantras: Do the work. Trust the process.
High performers have a high propensity to focus on what they do not get done. That’s why we have to pause and recognize the progress we are making. Take five minutes at the end of every day and thank your GSD-ness for what you achieved.
I’ll close with something I recently heard that’s aspirational, yet on some levels challenging given the series of contractions we’ve all experienced this year. A friend suggested I watch Caroline McHugh’s TEDx talk ‘The Art of Being Yourself’. When the video began I noted it was nearly thirty minutes (!) and my first thought was to stop watching. But then I heard Caroline say, “Take up all the space the universe intended for you,” and I was hooked.
As we come to the end of this unprecedented year, my wish for you is to take all the space the universe intended for you, that you grow to be your biggest fan, and—to quote Jill Scott, who was featured in Caroline’s talk—you’ll “be who you goin’ be.”
*My favorite meme for 2020 is on this t-shirt. I laugh every time I see it because one star seems generous!
